fail of epic proportions

today i managed to write 15 pages on one project and 8 on another, but NONE on the most recent Lila Lovely.

failed so miserably.

sometimes i loath my inability to do more.

New chore

Got handed a new chore today. Turn one of my audio dramas into a prose piece. Gulp, yes: add DESCRIPTION. 

No, I will not be adding purple prose. Not familiar with the term “purple prose”? Think “too much”. Think turgid, bombastic, over descriptive. Purple prose describing a vase would be something similar to: the delicate sides of the glass vase rose from the table in a fluted emerald stem that flared with the energy of a newly opened flower in the dewy morning sunlight.

QUICK THE BUCKET!

No, I shall  not use purple prose. Neither will I use the oftentimes staccato style of my Lila Lovely pieces. 

I will mutter to myself constantly the mantra I give anyone who asks for writing advice: Brevity, grasshopper, brevity.

Limbo sux

I’m in limbo. Artistic limbo that is. I have several projects that are in the works but they all rely on someone else to get them to the near completed stage. What’s worse is I have other projects I want to move forward on but am holding back because I’m waiting for the uncompleted ones to get done.

Thus my anxiety, my nervousness and my wish to move crabbily through the day snapping at anyone with a cheerful attitude. Which, considering I’m usually obnoxiously cheerful can only demonstrate how deep into artistic limbo I’ve sunk.

And it: sux, sucks, una mierda, otcton, sranje, suce, zanic, suig, etc. etc. and sucks in every other foreign language you can think of. 

sighghghghghg. merde. 

Phooey, even listening to Jim Byrnes hasn’t helped.

I wonder why so many people I know are all so movement oriented? I had someone once say to me: “But you’ve written a book.” 

My reply was: “That was a few years ago. What have I done since then?”

Of course there has been quite a tidy pile of accomplishments since then but… I hesitate to say “not enough” because that makes me sound greedy and I’m not. But when it comes to working on projects it’s like an addiction. Gotta keep making them, gotta keep moving, gotta push and pull and scrabble.

Bask in the moment? 

Fruck.

I don’t bask well. Never have, never will. Gotta chase the next rainbow.

Limbo sux. Big time.

Hunker Down

For parts of the country winter’s here. For other parts it’s on its way. I live where the later is true.

I’ve been leaning more and more towards doing some really fun horror stuff. I’m not usually a writer of horror, although Lila Lovely does dance around that a bit. Still, it’s time to hunker down and start spewing forth.

What should I deal with? The “don’t open the door” idea or: “don’t look in the box” idea or… hmm (toe tap toe tap) what really really creeps YOU out.

That’s what the best horror is, what creeps you out.

Sable

Life’s ebbs and flows, waves and crests

For years now I have lived very much under the impression that opportunity never stops knocking, people stop listening. It’s a good impression and it holds, at least for me, ever true.

Still, sometimes it’s not opportunity that knocks but change, and a change you don’t particularly want to make. But, if you’re tuned to that part of your psyche that tries its best to guide you, and guide you well, you can’t deny the change.

Among all the things I do, one of the things I take great pleasure in is being a bit of a Junker. Simply put, a Junker is someone who rambles through estate sales, tag sales, thrift stores and the like looking for little treasures not to keep but to pass on, hopefully with a little bit of a profit.

In addition to that I’m also a crafter, making a great variety of artsy things, from purses to greeting cards to my latest endeavor, frames for photos or art. Personally I like to hang wonderful frames without anything in them on the wall as a display all its own. 

I have, for many many years been reselling and selling these treasures at a local flea market. I’m particularly fond of vintage jewelry and I had hoped that, at some point, I could move into that as a regular part of my income. Become somewhat of a semi-expert if you will. But the past two years have been hard going, and there are so many other things I like to do. For a long time I’ve known it was time to step away from this activity and move on. And, unfortunately, this weekend I made that decision.

Oh, I’ll go back now and then, as a matter of fact I’ll be back in a couple weeks helping out a friend who’s taking over my stall at the flea market.  And, just because I’m someone who doesn’t let go easily (sometimes) I’ll try and go back every once in awhile if anything to keep in contact with some of the wonderful people I’ve met and grown fond of.

But, like a marriage or friendship that has run its course, it’s time to move on. I’ve always been someone who’s preferred the unknown to the known. Just look at my employment record… once I’ve learned a job I’ve moved on. I need that constant feed of new information, new experiences, new people. 

Besides, like writing, acting or art, a junker can always go back. Which in and of itself, is a nice thing if you’re ever in a bind and need to step back to grab a breath.

Rainy Outside, Sunny Inside

Well, it’s definitely the season now in the Pacific Northwest. Monday and rain. Looks like I won’t be going on a nice long walk like I wanted. Which is just as well.

I have a new scene to add to the script that we’ll be recording in the next couple weeks, then it’s send it off to the powers-that-be to see if it’s approved. It’s not a necessary scene but it could be a helpful one so… we’ll see.

Then there’s this little artsy/craftsy project scattered over my sunroom floor that needs to be taken care of. If it turns out the way I hope it will it could add a few $$ to the purse so I can record the next Jewel of the God Adventure. Fingers crossed.

Someone accused me the other day of doing nothing but work. If I’m not writing, I’m putting together some crafty project, or I’m vending at a flea market. What this other person fails to realize, however, is that all three of those activities are activities I love to do. 

The other night I had a three and a half hour Skype meeting on the script. Love technology. The other party pulled up the pages of the script online (this was a first for me and I could kick myself for not getting into this earlier) and we worked, line by line. LOVED IT. Was totally jazzed and wide awake afterwards even if it was 2 in the morning. 

It’s a rainy day in the Pacific Northwest and I can guarantee you, I won’t be sitting here all day glum and out of sorts because, well, it’s raining. It’s sunny inside with all the activities I love to do.

15 pages and Lucile

15 new pages to the latest script today. Yippee! Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to get the darn thing done by the end of the year. 

I’ve just been busy doing other things. Now that I’ve got two terrific sound engineers working on the other projects I’m getting involved in listening, making notes, and, even though they haven’t asked me to, tracking down possible sound effects. Then I’ve interrupted writing to take on a couple scripts for the company I work for… extra money there.

Then, to top things off, I’m doing more things for the craft fair. Getting rid of old supplies but taking on new ones.

And then there’s a major project that may, or may not, happen and when it’s something you really want to work out, you tend to put an awful lot of time into it. But that’s the point. You have to do that in order to make it work.

So I cleared up a lot of things this week and finally got to do another 15 pages.

And now Lucile’s back. Well, that’s what I call her. She’s just this little whiff of perfume that occasionally floats through my home. Sometimes it’s in the kitchen, sometimes the bedroom. I’ve never caught it in the bathroom, but hey, after x amount of years… maybe I just don’t remember. 

Am I saying my place is haunted? Not sure. But it’s not a perfume I’ve ever worn. 

And it’s definitely not the heat of 15 pages being laid down in one afternoon. Hot damn.

When the brain doesn’t stop

At 2:30 a.m. yesterday i found myself texting an associate with ideas for a project we’re facing.

He answered me. It was nice to know that someone else works when they want to, when their brain is going and the only way to quiet it is to let it run.

My personal time clock works on a greatly different plane than other people’s. I realize that doesn’t work well in the business world, and to tell you truthfully, I don’t care. However, I deal with it. If you want to succeed at what you’re doing, you need to give a little for the other guy/gal so that they feel you can work with them. 

If I had things my way I’d give a specific friend a call right now, haul out the paper work and ask him to do the same thing and we’d work. Maybe i should become more involved with people in England or France. That way when i feel this way they would be right in the middle of their day and we can get work done.

Right now I’m trying to wind down so that I don’t lay there staring at the ceiling thinking… if I do this then that will happen, but if i do that, then this will happen, and if I come at this from that angle… 

yup, in for a rough night I think. Wonder if one of my buddies in the UK is available for a “chat”.

sj

Projects and Spilling the Beans

There’s a project in the wind. It’s not set, contracts are not signed, it’s still in its “baby steps” phase.

I’d love to talk about it here, let you know what it’s about, who’s involved, when it’s going to happen, etc. etc. I’d really like to tell you about it.  

But I can’t. You see, not long ago someone I know was involved in a “Big Project” and they just couldn’t resist telling people about it. While they were talking about this project (no contracts, still baby baby steps) someone else contacted the people they were talking with and… well, let’s just say that big project is a nowhere project.

One of the problems with blogs, as I see it, is that we all feel we need to say something… astounding. Or do something that will make the reader’s visit to the blog worthwhile. So… if something is in the works, it’s hard not to want to share it. And sharing, in this instance, isn’t the thing to do. Because, as much as you’d like to think this won’t happen, there are people out there who can, and will, run a back end interception and leave you with a whole armful of nothing.

Take care.

First thing tomorrow a working breakfast meeting with artist Wednesday Wolf to select photos for the video of The Enchantress. I’ve managed to put together a quick audio (which i’m sure my sound designer would have a hard time listening to) so we can get a feel for what’s needed in the video. But now I have to cram the next four episodes to decide… four previews or one longer one.

Who can tell.

Then after the meeting a possible phone meeting on a big project that I hope works out. If that meeting doesn’t happen then maybe, just maybe after a busy weekend I can actually relax and finish the latest script.

If you’re going to write, do it. At some point you have to stop reading the books, taking the classes, attending the conferences, meditating, masticating, asking questions, arguing style, ad disgusting nauseum.

Just sit down at the computer, pad of paper, typewriter or whatever you use and DO IT! 

Because after you finish, then the real work starts.